Share & Enjoy!

Welcome to my blog! I hope it brings you enjoyment.

If you're like me, you are always wishing that either our world could be more like that of Hyrule, or (on the really shitty days) wishing you could simply quit everything and go and live in Hyrule. I personally would love to live in Hateno or Kakariko Village (and even the old school ones would be fine!), and be able to get my post from that guy in his boxers and shop at Castle Town's Malo Mart... though the music's a bit loud. But most of all, I'd like to sit down at The Lumpy Pumpkin, or pull up a stool at Telma's Bar, and recharge my hearts, before conking out for the night in a hayloft at Lon Lon Ranch. I also want to eat everything besides the rock-hard and dubious food featured in Breath of the Wild. Those steaks and curries always make me hungry, and the clam chowder and honeyed apple, not to mention the Monster Cake, kind of forced me to seek out real-world approximations. That, and a few novel interpretations of some classics - I hope you'll bear with me as I perfect the recipes and finally get around to posting them...

In the meanwhile, here's a bunch of disclaimers:
  • Yes, I know that Nintendo owns the IP rights to just about everything imaginable. I'm trying not to tread on their property here. I'm merely a fan, I'm making NO MONEY, and I'm just doing this because the equivalent product doesn't already exist. I would buy it. This is your problem, dear Nintendo: you don't make enough products! There's a hungry market out there, and for whatever reason(s) you're not serving up. 
  • These are MY recipes. All of them. I wrote them, tested them, tasted them and optimised them. I own the IP to these. But hark! I'm neither a rich person nor a huge corporation. I am generously donating this information to other fans. Like your characters, dear Nintendo: did not Link give many of his rupees freely to Malo so that the bridge could be repaired and a new Malo Mart opened? And have not countless poor NPCs rewarded Link with rupees for simply doing them a small favour? And the gratitude crystals of Skyward Sword - did you not TRAIN OUR YOUNG MINDS to be gracious, generous and kind to others? So I am being generous and sharing my IP for free. Please don't be unkind to me in return.
  • I'm not responsible for your oven blowing up, you breaking out in hives, someone choking to death or anything else awful and unpleasant that may result from you using my recipes. I really hope that goes without saying, but I waive all responsibility - use my recipes and read my blog at your own risk. If all you end up with is Dubious Food in the end, tough luck. I would sincerely hope that isn't the case, but nevertheless: no onus on me.
  • DEAR NINTENDO: PLEASE OPEN UP A HYRULE THEME VILLAGE WHERE WE CAN COME AND STAY THE NIGHT, EAT THE FOOD, DRINK THE DRINKS, CAVORT AND ROMP AROUND AND ENJOY OURSELVES! PLEASE HIRE ACTORS IN COSTUMES TO POPULATE THE AREA, PLEASE GIVE US FUN PHYSICAL PUZZLES TO SOLVE, BOWS TO SHOOT, PRIZES TO WIN. I WANT TO SPLASH AROUND IN ZORA'S DOMAIN, AND I WANT IT TO HAVE WATER-SLIDES. I ALSO WANT TO HAVE MEALS COOKED FOR ME ON GORON HOT STONES, AND I WANT TO SIT IN GORON HOT SPRINGS. I WANT TO WANDER AROUND GERUDO TOWN AT NIGHT IN THE LAMPLIGHT, AND I WANT TO SAND-SURF. I ALSO WANT TO GET LOST IN THE LOST WOODS AND KOKIRI FOREST. I WANT TO ATTEND AN OCARINA CLASS. I MOST DEFINITELY WANT TO GO SHOPPING: PLEASE MAKE ENDLESS MERCHANDISE FOR US TO BUY. I WOULD PERSONALLY LIKE TO BUY EACH AND EVERY PIECE OF JEWELRY IN THE GAMES, BE THEY WORN BY CHARACTERS OR ITEMS TO ACQUIRE. I CANNOT BE ALONE IN THAT! I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO BUY EVERY TEXTILE I SEE IN THE GAMES, FROM THE RUGS AND BANNERS AND BEDSPREADS TO THE CLOTHING ITSELF. I ALSO WANT POTS - ONES THAT BREAK EASILY FOR SPORT, AND ONES TO PUT ON DISPLAY. AND I WOULD LIKE AN OFFICIAL COOKBOOK WITH MUNDANE (REAL WORLD) EQUIVALENCIES. I'M PUTTING THIS PROTOTYPE TOGETHER FOR YOU - RUN WITH IT, PLEASE! :) - MANY THANKS FROM YET ANOTHER FAN WITH A GIANT'S WALLET AND MANY RUPEES JUST SITTING IN IT.

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